The Stinky Side of 50!

Special contribution by Francine Van

The details we were never told, and now I know why……….

Francine Van

We join the golden movement with hope and optimism of new futures to come.  We believe there will be less worries, more freedom, obligations of choice rather than necessity, fun, and finally a sense of peace.  Well, OK, don’t hold your breath…..the truth is:— You never really retire, it is an illusion to get you to change jobs without pay for family…you become a babysitter, chauffeur, personal shopper, hairdresser, cleaning lady, etc. etc. …need I go on? Almost forgot ….. amidst all this I am trying to get my photography project off the ground!

— You cannot possibly take all the vitamins recommended for your age, (they will make you smell or give you gas).  Just take the hormones to stay out of jail

— Budget on the anti-aging creams and makeup …when they say too good to be true, they mean it …except get the strong hold hairspray for that spot called the ‘Aruba’ on the top back of your head, it shows now …did you notice!

— When you find yourself repeating a lot, remember when you are not talking to your parents or grandchildren

— When your mom says her lunch was a chocolate bar, it’s ok …she made it to over fifty

— Don’t drink all eight glasses of water recommended or you won’t get any sleep

— Exercise your butt, it flattens …hmmmm!

— The coffee shops become the place of choice rather than the bars, too much wine and no one picks you up when you fall off the bar stool.

And lastly, although I could go on, cancel all those over fifty joke emails, magazine subscriptions, and any reminders that are self-defeating. Denial is a wonderful thing and soon like your parents, you will forget.

As Mark Twain so accurately put it:  “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”  Shall look forward to your comments so that we can all remember laughing is great medicine to get us through life.

About Golden Wave Movement Canada

The Golden Wave Movement is a made up of engaged individuals who have serious concerns about the increasing challenges retirees surviving on modest pension incomes face nowadays. While our main purpose is to raise awareness of the financial difficulties faced by this vulnerable group of citizens, we also intend to raise awareness regarding challenges related to their physical, emotional and psychological well-being and how to enjoy their golden years.
This entry was posted in Baby boomers, Elders, Golden Years, Retirement planning, Seniors demographic and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Stinky Side of 50!

  1. Spunkymum says:

    Francine, you left me howling! Thank you for presenting the “sunny” side of 50 with such humour and clarity.
    Just goes to show how important a role attitude and mind-set really play in life and our ability to enjoy it – or not!
    Indeed, a healthy dose of humour goes a long way. So does “not sweating the small stuff”.
    You’ve presented some wonderful points for us ‘Golden Girls and Gents’ to bring along as we drift ever forward towards that deep dark night!
    Thank you again for the morning laugh you provided!


  2. Sarah says:

    What a sense of humor you have! 🙂 I also have a ‘Aruba’ spot at the back of my head and don’t like it one bit. I also identify with the challenges you are dealing with at this time of life. You’re lucky you don’t seem to have health issues that plague us as we enter these supposedly glorious golden years.


  3. gsandler says:

    Really enjoyed reading your amusing post and loved your Mark Twain quote on happiness. I am mother of 3 grown children who gave me lots of grey hair, also have some wonderful memories too and now one grandson I babysit quite often. I am retired but most days I am run off my feet. Must find more ‘me’ time. At times I used to think that this quote from Sophocles was applicable to my kids — here it is: “But whoever gives birth to useless children, what would you say of him except that he has bred sorrows for himself, and furnishes laughter for his enemies”. 😉 HA HA HA!!!


  4. Dolores Ianthe says:

    In today’s world everywhere we turn we see advertisments to distract seniors from the inevitability of getting older. The T.V.the media,newspapers etc, tell us of the importance of face lifts that give seniors a plastic appearance. This is quite stinky to me. I think of Rembrandt ( 1606-69) who painted elerly people who had no evidence of hair dye, face lifts and no make up, and this says to me when I look at it that old is beautifull and wise. The only thing that happens is that our physical faculties have to slow down and I see everything else as beautiful. Rembrandt also painted dozens of self portraits where we can see the beauty of how he grew older.


  5. Amal says:


    I am approching 52, and sometimes I think it great! I have menopause to look forward to and then what do I look forward to after that, death?? Then I remeneber someone saying, don’t worry about life, you’re not going to survive it anyway, lol. For me now, it is living everyday as it comes to its fullest as defined by me. The good thing about this stage of life is that, I really don’t feel any peer pressures anymore, or what people may think as much as I used to before. I define what life should be for me now. Life for individuals, especially the aged, and the world in general are increasingly places of pressures for us, and it is our responsibility to define our own wellness, and happiness. Although our happiness is not a constant stream of bliss, but rather moments we enjoy whenever possible, we can concentrate on our wellness… equilibrium, balance in a shifty world. Just remember, we can learn from people younger than us, older than us, and the same age as us. Continue to be a full participant, even when the world starts to ignore you. Be yourself, and push that into the world. It is the person that blows life into life and not the otherway around!


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